How Your Congress Treats American Business Owners
By Porter Stansberry August 24, 2010 (Annotated by Mike Joyner)
I'd like to make you a business offer.
Seriously. This is a real offer. In fact, you really can't turn me down, as you'll come to understand in a moment... Here's the deal.
You're going to start a business or expand the one you've got now. It doesn't really matter what you do or what you're going to do. I'll partner with you no matter what business you're in as long as it's legal. But I can't give you any capital, you have to come up with that on your own. I won't give you any labor, that's definitely up to you. What I will do, however, is demand you follow all sorts of rules about what products and services you can offer, how much (and how often) you pay your employees, and where and when you're allowed to operate your business. That's my role in the affair.. to tell you what to do. And to make sure that you have to pay thousands of dollars every year to a tax lawyer and CPA. No, they won't help analize your business operation. They will, however, be necessary to protect you from my collections agent, The IRS. You see my rules will be so numerous and incomprehensable you will need them to insure that I take only my share. Otherwise I will take more than my share; a lot more!
Now.. in return for my rules, I'm going to take roughly half of whatever you make in the business each year. Half seems fair, doesn't it? I think so. Of course, that's half of your profits. You're also going to have to pay me about 12 percent of whatever you decide to pay your employees because you've got to cover my expenses for promulgating all of the rules about who you can employ, when, where, and how. Come on, you're my partner. It's only "fair." Oh.. by the way, be aware that this is my share of your income as profits. There will be many many other fees which you will be responsible for paying to me. You know just little things like privilege licenses, excise taxes, inventory taxes, and a lot more. But don't worry, your lawyer and CPA will keep up with them for you. And.. they will only charge you a few hundred dollars per hour to make sure that I get all I want. And, as added benefit, your lawyer and CPA will keep me from sending my collection agency to confiscate everything you own including your savings, home, cars, and anything else we can get our hands on. But.. be aware, if one of these guys makes and mistake, we will hold you responsible even if our rules are incomprehensible. We will charge you with penalties and interest that are so outrageously high, we have made them illegal in every other financial institution in the country.
Now.. after you've put your hard-earned savings at risk to start this business, and after you've worked hard at it for a few decades (paying me my 50 percent or a bit more along the way each year), you might decide you'd like to cash out to finally live the good life. Whether or not this is "fair".. some people never can afford to retire is a different argument.
As your partner, I'm happy for you to sell whenever you'd like.. because our agreement says, if you sell, you have to pay me an additional 20 percent of whatever the capitalized value of the business is at that time. I know, I know. You put up all the original capital. You took all the risks. You put in all of the labor. That's all true. But I've done my part, too. I've collected 50 percent of the profits each year. And I've always come up with more rules for you to follow each year. Therefore, I deserve another, final 20 percent slice of the business. Did I tell you.. If you organized as a "C" corporation in order to limit your personal exposure in case of a law suit, I get about 68% of the value of the business. Yes, it is true, that we have changed the rules about corporations a lot while you were in business, but maintaining this archaic rule maximizes my return on my "no investment".
Oh.. and one more thing. Even after you've sold the business and paid all of my fees, I'd recommend buying lots of life insurance. You see, even after you've been retired for years, when you die, you'll have to pay me 50 percent of whatever your estate is worth. After all, I've got lots of partners and not all of them are as successful as you and your family. We don't think it's "fair" for your kids to have such a big advantage. But if you buy enough life insurance, you can finance this expense for your children.
All in all, if you're a very successful entrepreneur, if you're one of the rare, lucky, and hard-working people who can create a new company, employ lots of people, and satisfy the public, you'll end up paying me more than 75 percent of your income over your life. Thanks so much.
I'm sure you'll think my offer is reasonable and happily partner with me, but it doesn't really matter how you feel about it because you don't have a choice in the matter, and if you ever try to stiff me or cheat me on any of my fees or rules I'll break down your door in the middle of the night, threaten you and your family with heavy, automatic weapons, and throw you in jail. That's how civil society is supposed to work, right? This is Amerika, isn't it? That's the offer Amerika gives its entrepreneurs. And the idiots in Washington wonder why there are no new jobs.
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